Graduation?!

It's been long time since I blogged. I can't believe that so many things happened. So many things. Both good and bad things. But my thesis presentation day is in less that 12 days! I have no idea! I have too many things to do but I am in a difficult phase on my emotional life and this is just getting too complicated. I hope everything will be ok.

Marriage: Suiting

I've been far away from blogging!

Whether one wants to marry her boyfriend or her suitor (that she still didn't meet) the boys family should come to suit the girl. Here again some families don't bring the groom/ suitor at first session!!!! Too weird I know. Imagine that boy's mom and sisters come to see you and if the like you they will tell the boy! This sucks to me and is one of the reasons I never wanted to marry a suitor! Some people think it is OK but I don't. I don't blame anyone though, this is the tradition. Some other families may bring the groom/ suitor too specially if one is going to marry her boyfriend, boy comes in the first session too. Girls family usually host the boy's with tea, fruits, nuts and sweets.

When the suitor's family comes the girl stays in kitchen or goes back to kitchen after the quick greetings. Then after every one sits down and talks for a minute or two the girl brings tea. That is a tradition that girl/ bride brings tea!

Then the elders talk about common things and give each other some information about both boy's and girl's background like education, job, age, salary, etc.

First session is done!

If boy's family likes the girl they will call in a day or two to ask the girl's family that if their answer is yes or no! If they say yes too, both families will arrange a second session! This usually happens if the boy and the girl are not boyfriend and girlfriend but if they are most of the things can happen at the first session.

The rest of this post usually happens at first session in the couples were in a relationship and at the second session if they never met before.

If the boy is a suitor and not a boyfriend of the girl he will come this time to see and talk to the girl. Boy's family will bring a bouquet of flower,sweets and a piece of gold or jewelry (depending on the boy's financial status). Here are some pics:

Sweets

Sweets ready to serve

Flower

Jewelry

The jewelry is usually a ring but it is not considered as a wedding ring. It can be a necklace or a bracelet too. If the boy leaves the gold and girl picks it up then it is considered as a yes and after that we will move to the next step which i will write about the on the next post hopefully!

At the end of this sessions couples are not considered as fiances yet! If we want to put a name on the coupled on this session we can say that the girl id the betrothed of the boy.

Fiance or Spouse

OK. Glenn and I are finally going to meet soon in Turkey (Lord Willing) after being in a long distance relationship for 1 year, 9 month and 20 days! This is so exciting, we are not sure about the date, we may meet at late July, August or September! We want to marry in Turkey but we are not sure if it is a good idea. That is what I really want but it maybe kind of impossible for some reasons. First of all Turkey does not let us stay there more than 90 days in 6 month (3 month in, 3 month out)! :( we may apply for the temporary visa, but as we will probably not be able to work there too life will cost too much and we will face serious financial problems. Even if we don't buy any piece of cloth we need to pay for the rent, food and my visa! (including too many blood tests and vaccines,etc.) but I do want to marry him soon because we were far away enough and it really is the time to be together. If we find marriage impossible we will only get engaged and start my fiance visa works and we'll marry in America within 90 days of my entrance to the country. People say K1 (fiance visa) is faster (I am sure that it take a year to be done!) and some other say that K3 (non immigrant spouse visa) will also take a year. So there is no difference.
The only thing is that I am not sure if I will be safe to come back to mu country after I marry him. As my country has some strict rules about marrying to foreigners. I hope we will be safe.

I love you so  much Glenn. I am so lucky and blessed for being yours.

P.S. I would really appreciate if any one can help us and let us know which visa is a better choice, fiance or spouse?

Marriage: Meeting each other

When two people want to get marry in my country they have two different ways of finding their soul mate.

1: Suitor

This is the traditional way of marriage which is still preferred by most parents. In this way boy and girl don't meet for a long time. The story is like this: 

A boy announces to his parents that he wants to marry and asks them to  find a good girl for him! So his mom and sisters try to look for a good girl ( I know how lame it is). They ask their friends and neighbors, etc. to find her. Some people give the phone numbers of some girl's families who they know. Then the boy's mom calls girl's mom [ these two moms have never met in real almost always]. Boy's mom says to girl's mom that they are a suitors family and if girl's mom is interested she will ask boy's mom further questions on the phone. These questions are: 1- how old is boy? 2- what's his job? 3- if he had a university degree and if the answer is yes what is his degree (e.g. B.A., M.A.,etc)? 4- how many brothers and sisters he has? 5- is his salary enough to provide a family?

If the girl's family is ok with the answers they will schedule a date for boy's family to come to their home to visit the girl ( in my city boy doesn't come first and this is why i hate to marry a suitor, because i feel like a piece of cloth. most of the time the boy's family may never come again because his mom may doesn't like the girl! Imagine that! All of these can happen without boy and girl meeting or even talking to each other ever!)

2: Dating

This is the modern way of marriage in my country which is new and people still barely talk about it. If you have a boyfriend or girlfriend you'd better keep it a secret! Yes. Here we don't live together with our partners. bfs and gfs usually just talk on the phone (most of the time when parents are not home) and text each other. They don't meet outside too much. They may sometimes go out to have a pizza or something. On their bdays and Valentine's Day and any other occasion, they buy each other gifts of course but by playing a lot of trick for their parents! They even usually hide the gift from parents. So I think you can guess now that bfs and gfs don't make love too. Because a girl MUST be virgin before marriage.

P.S. on the next post I will tell you more about how boy's family come to girl's to suit.

All of these are things which are usual not only in my city but also in my country generally. There are exceptions all the time you know.

I am 25 years old!

I am finally 25! I didn't have too much plan to do on my birthday but things came a long themselves! First thing in the morning I cleaned every corner of the home and had my lunch and left to cooking class. It was my first section and I was in the class from 3 to 7. I've leaned some about cooking and also about how to cook three different things this section! YES! Then I came home and had some fun times with my aunts and cousins. I had a cool day.

25 things I want to keep in mind on my entire 25 year old 

Mother's Day

Mother's day in my country is not on May 13. Although we are not Arabs and our calender is solar calender but Iranians celebrate mother's day according to Arabic month on Prophet Mohammad's daughter, Fatemeh's, birthday. As you may know Arabic months are shorter than Christian and solar months (about 28 days a month as far as I know) they are not stable. For example 25 years ago when I was born in May according to Arabic calender it was Ramadan while this year Ramadan is not May and is on August!
I hope I could explain how different Arabic calender is! I love Christian and solar calender the most.
This year Mother's Day according to Arabic calender was only one day before May 13!
In my country we call the day both Mother's and Women Day. This year I made a beautiful card for my mom and i printed one other and colored it like a kid! hehe. Then I put one card in the fridge and the other on microwave, put two stick notes into mom's English books as I know she is going to go to English class in the morning. Put an other stick note on the door and hung her gift from door all after we went to sleep to surprise her. She was so excited in the morning and I am so happy I could make her happy. Oh and I also put something on the fridge too. I don't know what do you say to it in English so I'll put a picture of it. It's written "Happy Mother's Day" on it into Farsi (Persian).
Happy Mother's Day to all of the mother's in the world. I hope I can someday be a mother too! Even if I can't be I will not stop loving kids. They are the miracles of our lives of course.

The thing on the fridge!

Funerals: Part Two

After one dies his/her family don't do make up (women) and shave (men), don't wear light color clothes (they usually wear black and dark ones)and they don't hold or take part in parties. { As my dad is not one who is strictly limited to traditions and is so open minded he let me go to my friend's wedding party and said that I even didn't need to ask for his permission and that I should keep on my life and be happy. He is so great.}These traditions doesn't last for a long time recently. But how do we put an end to this? Well, a close relative usually takes men and women to a barbershop or a beauty salon and buys some piece of cloth in light color.
After the first 40th day of one's death, the family of the dead one should go to his/her home on some occasions. These occasions are: On first holiday and on first new year that one is dead family of his/her go to dead one's home and host the guest who come over to let the dead one's family know that they are sad in their sadness and that they are not alone. As these occasions are happy events the family of the dead one host the guests with date, tea, walnut, sweetmeat and fruits.
First Ramadan (this one is a bit different usually most of the close relatives give parties each night for the dead ones family, a month is 30 days but maybe only a few people invite the dead one's family for breaking their fast).
And first anniversary of death. First anniversary of death is again so expensive and time consuming. Because as the first day of death, the dead one's family, relatives, friends and neighbor go to the cemetery, mosque and give dinner to a lot of people.
If the dead one is young his/her family may host people at home with tea, date and walnut every anniversary. This will not last forever of course.
Now can say that the second part of the long story of one's death in my country is done by doing all of these!